


We'll Chase That Happy Ending

by WardenSabrae



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble Collection, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, most chapters are based on canon scenes with a few original ones peppered in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-03 23:22:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14579865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WardenSabrae/pseuds/WardenSabrae
Summary: 30-Day-OTP-Challenge. A collect of drabbles between Cullen Rutherford and Sylaisa Lavellan, from their first meeting to an eventual 'epilogue'.





	1. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 1. Beginning
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

“Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the rift? Well done.”

“Do not congratulate me, Commander.” Cassandra says to whoever had just spoken but Sylaisa doesn’t look up as she cleans the demon blood and other wet bits of gore from the blade of her sword before sliding it into the worn sheath tied to her belt. “This is the prisoner’s doing.”

‘The Prisoner’? Ahh. They must have been talking about her..

Sylaisa turns towards the conversation, her gaze landing on Cassandra before shifting over to the blond man that the Seeker had just been speaking to. She doesn’t know this shem but she’d spotted him on the battlefield earlier, fighting alongside her and these new companions as they cleared the area of demons. He seemed like a competent enough warrior, especially since he was well dressed and apparently in command, and he had definitely taken down a couple of those demons himself, but still she remains a little wary.

Between the jeering crowds that she’d been led through earlier and those snide comments from that Chancellor Roderick fellow, she wasn’t really sure which of the shem here genuinely wanted to help her in her quest to seal that massive rift, and which ones just wanted her head in exchange for her supposed involvement in their Divine’s death.

There seemed to be a fairly large number on both sides, and that was just in this small area alone. Not very good odds for a single Dalish, surrounded by scared shem and so far from their clan.

“Is it?” The Commander asks as his attention shifts to Sylaisa and she holds his gaze evenly, almost challengingly, but to her surprise his tone actually seems curious, not suspicious like she’d expected. “I hope they’re right about you, we’ve lost a lot of people getting you here.”

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try my best.” Sylaisa replies promptly because the truth seems like the safest thing to say right now, and she thinks she sees a hint of approval in the Commander’s expression now.

“That’s all we can ask,” he says, and then his eyes just seem to linger on her but before she can question him he suddenly looks away, turning to speak to Cassandra again, and Sylaisa turns her own attention to the broken, burning remains of the Temple in the distance, where the Rift and other dangers surely awaited them.

  
\-----

 


	2. Accusations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 2. Accusations
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

Sylaisa wonders if these people think that she can’t hear them or if they honestly just don’t care whether she does or not.

She sees enough suspicion burning in their eyes and sneers on their faces to know that it’s probably the latter, but still she doesn’t bother to acknowledge them, and just keeps her head raised as she strides into Haven and along the path that would lead her up to the Chantry.

For all the unexpected reverence and borderline worship that most of the people here seemed to throw at her feet, to her growing discomfort, there are still plenty who bared their teeth at her, calling her the ‘knife-ear that killed the Divine’ as she passes by them, but only whenever they’re safely out of Cassandra and Leliana’s earshot.

 _‘What they think doesn’t matter,’_ Sylaisa tells herself each time she hears the harsh whispers behind her back. They can scream out their accusations about her and what she allegedly did until their throats started to bleed for all she cared.

She’s an adult, a Dalish warrior who’s long since earned her vallaslin and the respect of her clan mates, and those people were the ones whose opinions mattered. The insults and slander from a few unimportant shem don’t bother her.

They don’t..

She reaches the Chantry and sees Commander Cullen standing by the open doorway, arms folded behind his back, and as she approaches him she’s greeted with friendly nod before his eyes wander somewhere over her shoulder, his gaze suddenly turning steely, and she hears the awkward shuffling of feet as a few unseen individuals behind her wander away, taking their glowering eyes and muttered comments with them.

She says nothing but she gives him a nod, hoping that he can read the gratitude in her eyes, and though he says nothing either she sees the hint of a smile on his face before the two of them head into the Chantry together, and soon fall into an easy conversation about the progress she’d made in the Hinterlands as they head towards the War Room side-by-side.

  
\-----


	3. Restless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 3. Restless
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

The sound of swords and shields clashing isn’t terribly familiar to her, but it’s a welcome distraction nonetheless as Sylaisa watches the Inquisition soldiers and its new recruits train in the clearing outside of the gates, and the sound of colliding weapons and stomping feet soon becomes a steady rhythm to her ears.

A lot of the recruits have rather sloppy footwork, and it’s pretty clear that some of them have never even held swords before, but she refrains from stepping forward. She’d learned earlier today that not everyone here liked being approached by an elf – _“What do ya want, knife-ear?”_ – and she’d more than had her fill of insults for the day.

So she just sits quietly on one of the benches, watching the shem train together and trying to stay out of the way. It was better than being imprisoned, and she was starting to enjoy the company of a few individuals here, but she still doesn’t fully understand or trust the intentions of this newly formed Inquisition.

Her eyes skim over the crowd again before they eventually land on the Commander, who stood in the center of the crowd with his hands resting against the pommel of his sword. He shouts out bits of advice for the men around him before he suddenly looks her way, as if he’d felt someone watching him, and Sylaisa offers him a faint smile because he’s been decent to her so far.

Cullen nods back at her, starting to smile in return but then one of the recruits suddenly loses their footing and stumbles back into him, nearly knocking the off-guard Commander over completely, and Sylaisa has to quickly cover her mouth to stifle a sudden laugh.

She’s been knocked over in training plenty of times herself, especially by those who had just started to learn combat, but Cullen still looks rather embarrassed as he straightens up, not looking at her anymore but is instead scolding the clumsy recruit, and Sylaisa’s gaze eventually leaves the flustered Commander.

 _‘You’re getting restless,’_ she thinks to herself, and tries to focus on the soldiers rather than returning her gaze to the Commander, and she’s so focused in fact that she doesn’t even notice that he was now watching her.

\-----


	4. Snowflakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 4. Snowflakes
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

It’s cold out tonight, but not quite cold enough to make her want to go back inside.

Sylaisa leans back against the wall of Haven’s front gate, arms folded over her chest and eyes fixed on the sky above as she watches the gentle snowfall coming down, and she lets out a deep, almost content sigh.

If nothing else, Haven was built in a beautiful area. She’s explored the forest around Haven some, though she couldn’t go far with that pair of Inquisition scouts following her, but she and her clan hadn’t been this far east in quite some time, and if she were with them right now she’d be mapping out the land, finding as many resources and potential campsites for the clan as she could.

But the Inquisition doesn’t need that, not with so many scouts and volunteers bringing necessities in, and Sylaisa wishes again that she could leave. She’d felt so out of place with her clan for the past few years but now that she was away from them she wanted nothing more than to return, and there was so much keeping her from doing so..

“Are you all right, Herald?” a voice behind her suddenly speaks up, and Sylaisa looks over her shoulder to see Commander Cullen walking towards her, looking both concerned and curious. He doesn’t approach her outside of the War Room as often as Cassandra or Leliana do, and Sylaisa noticed that there was a hesitation every time he did. Not used to dealing with a Dalish elf so often, she assumes.

“Just enjoying the fresh air,” Sylaisa replies, looking up towards the sky again. Beside her Cullen does the same and a soft, oddly comfortable silence falls between them as they watch the soft snowflakes drifting down from the sky.

“Do you-?” Cullen suddenly starts to ask, turning her attention back to him, but when their gazes meet he frowns, as if struggling with his words, and then he shakes his head and looks back up towards the sky. “Nevermind. Apologies, Herald.”

“You can call me by my first name, Commander,” she tells him, having quickly grown tired of being called the ‘Herald of Andraste’, but he doesn’t answer her right away, and a silence once again falls.

“As you wish, Lady Lavellan,” Cullen eventually says, breaking Sylaisa from her thoughts once more, and she smiles because it’s progress at least.

\-----

 


	5. Haze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 5. Haze
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

She almost can’t see through the smoke, filling the burning building with the thick haze and stinging her eyes, but Sylaisa fights through the discomfort as she and the Iron Bull lift the massive, smoldering beam up together, arms shaking from the effort of holding it up as Dorian pulls Seggrit out from underneath it.

“He’s clear!” Dorian tells her and Sylaisa quickly steps back as they drop the beam. She feels Dorian’s firm grip on her shoulders as they all rush out of the burning building, and the cool air is a blessing to her lungs.

“Got them all, yeah?” Sera asks, watching as Seggrit runs off to join the other rescued survivors being lead into the Chantry by Threnn, and then gives Sylaisa a quick nod. “Got them all! Move!”

There’s still a few red templars between them and the Chantry but soon enough Sylaisa and her companions clear the path, and she stops to make sure no one else is coming their way before she and Dorian shove the doors shut behind them.

This was.. definitely the last way she thought this evening would go, and the success she’d felt earlier after finally sealing the Rift now felt like a distant memory.

The next thing she knows Cullen is there and Roderick is dying in that strange boy’s arms but they still have to take a moment, to discuss what their next move was going to be, and as much as she doesn’t like the sound of this ‘Elder One’ she’s more concerned for the citizens of Haven.

An apparent salvation comes from Roderick, of all people, and he tells them of the path he’d once taken, a path that could lead the innocent people to safety, and Sylaisa considers her options, and what would likely have to be done to ensure the people’s escape.

“What about it, Cullen?” she finally asks, turning away from Roderick and towards the Commander beside her, “Would that work?”

“Possibly, _if_ he shows us the path.” Cullen replies, gesturing towards the Chancellor with a nod of his head. “But what of your escape?”

Sylaisa lets out a sigh but doesn’t answer his question, and the short silence that falls is a tense one. Cullen furrows his brow, disapproval and worry in his eyes along with.. something more that she can’t quite identify.

“Perhaps you can surprise it, find a way..” Cullen continues, his tone laced with an obvious concern now but there’s no time to argue, no time to consider other options while the muffled roar of that dragon is shaking the walls around them, and Cullen relents, leading her back to the front door along with the soldiers that would be loading the trebuchets while she and the others cut down the enemy forces.

“Cullen, get them as far from here as you can,” Sylaisa tells him, starting to follow after her companions as an eager Iron Bull leads them forward but then she feels a hand grasping her shoulder. She looks back towards Cullen to see him quickly drawing his hand away, as if he’d surprised himself with his own actions, but when their gazes meet there’s a sincerity burning in his eyes that she’s never seen before.

“Be careful out there, Lavellan,” he says, and she nods back at him as they step away from one another, but a few more seconds pass before they both actually turn away to follow after their respective groups, and as she and the others fight their way towards the first trebuchet Sylaisa wishes that she told him to do the same.

\-----

 


	6. Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6\. Flame
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

Her body _hurts_..

Everything aches from her feet to her head, and she’s not really sure what all she could move right now if she wanted to. Her arm and shoulder aches from where Corypheus had lifted her up, her back hurts from the impact of being thrown against the trebuchet, and her legs still burn after that long, slow trek through the snow..

Her eyes still sting but she opens them anyway, vision bleary for a moment, and she sees something small glowing in the distance. She’s pretty sure it’s a flame.. Was it a campfire? Or maybe it was Haven, somehow still burning even after the avalanche had come down on top of it..

Her other senses start to return and Sylaisa becomes aware of a steady, crunching sound and it takes her a moment to realize that it’s footsteps, and she turns her head to see Cassandra a few feet away, walking alongside a couple Inquisition soldiers. They don’t seem to notice that she’s awake and.. wait, how was she moving?

It hurts a little to turn her head again but Sylaisa does it anyway and first she sees the metal breastplate, then the furry mantle, and finally the familiar face of Cullen.

He was alive, her sluggish brain realizes just before it also realizes that he was currently carrying her, holding her close to his chest as they trudged through the snow. In any other scenario Sylaisa might have been embarrassed, maybe even annoyed by the fact that she needed someone to carry her in the first place but right now she’s still processing the fact that she was alive, along with the fact that she’s so exhausted she probably wouldn’t even be able to walk two feet without someone’s help.

She tries to speak but it hurts to do so and the words just seem to catch in her throat but Cullen looks down towards her anyway, and though his steady pace doesn’t slow she feels the tension in his shoulders lessen, sees the relief fill his eyes as he looks at her.

“We’re almost there, Lavellan,” he tells her softly and she doesn’t know where they’re going but she doesn’t really care, just so long as it’s warm and the rest of her companions are there. She hopes everyone had made it, hopes they’d all been long gone before that avalanche came down..

Her exhaustion starts to come back and the edges of her vision begin to turn back and Sylaisa lets out a heavy breath, shivering briefly from the biting cold as she leans her head against Cullen’s shoulder. She feels him stiffen a little but he doesn’t protest, instead actually holding her a little closer, and Sylaisa feels safe for the first time since Corypheus and his arm had shown up.

“Tha..” Sylaisa starts, and it hurts a little to clear her throat but she wants to try anyway before she falls asleep again. “Thanks.. Cullen..” Her voice sounds so low and raw to her own ears that she’s not even sure if he could hear her but then his hold on her seems to tighten, and she feels a soft huff of his warm breath against her bangs.

“You’re welcome, Lavellan,” Cullen whispers back, just before everything fades away once more.

\-----

 


	7. Formal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 7. Formal
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

“So do you ever sleep?” Sylaisa asks Cullen, only half-joking because everyone else in Skyhold was still getting settled in but Cullen already had chores and assignments underway.

“If Corypheus strikes again, we may not be able to withdraw.. and I wouldn’t want to,” Cullen says in lieu of actually answering her question. “We must be ready.”

“Nice to see you taking some charge. At least hard work looks good on one of us.” Sylaisa comments, watching a few of the scouts coming and going, and she can’t quite tell if Cullen looks sheepish or pleased by her comment. Either way, his ears are definitely a little more pink now than they were a moment ago.

“Work on Skyhold is already underway, and guard rotations are being established. We should have everything on course within the week,” Cullen says to her, hands braced against the makeshift table, and he looks over the various documents scattered on top of it before turning his head towards her again. “We will not run from here, Inquisitor.”

Inquisitor.. That was definitely something that Sylaisa was still adjusting too. Learning about the source of both her mark and Corypheus’ power from Solas had been one thing, and then she thought the discovery of Skyhold would be the most exciting thing to happen to them that day.

Now she was their formal leader, their Inquisitor, and though Sylaisa still didn't really believe that she was being guided by Andraste or whoever else it was the humans worshipped, the fact remained that now she had a lot of people looking to her for guidance and safety. So many were already suffering or gone because of Corypheus and so she would endure it, for them. Speaking of which..

“How many were lost?” Sylaisa asks, almost unsure of whether or not she even wanted to know, but Cullen’s expression doesn’t falter too much so maybe that was a good sign.

“Most of our people made it to Skyhold, and it could have been a lot worse,” he answers, handing off one of the pieces of parchment to a nearby scout, who hurries away as Cullen looks at her again. “Morale was low, but has improved greatly since you accepted the role of Inquisitor.”

“Everyone has so much faith in my leadership already,” Sylaisa sighs, folding her arms over her chest, and Cullen’s expression becomes a little more sympathetic as he watches her. “I just hope I’m ready..”

“You won’t have to carry the Inquisition alone, although it must feel like it,” Cullen reassures her as he straightens up, settling his hands against the pommel of his sword. “We needed a leader, and you’ve already proven yourself.”

“Thank you, Cullen,” Sylaisa replies, and when Cullen smiles down at her she can’t help but smile back at him. She weighs her next words, sorts through some thoughts that have been on her mind lately but Cullen stays quiet, patiently waiting for what she had to say. “Our escape from Haven.. it was close. I’m relieved that you-that so many made it out.”

“As am I,” Cullen replies but his tone is suddenly a little more solemn, and there’s something close to guilt in his eyes when he glances away from her, and Sylaisa wonders if, like her, he’d thought that they wouldn’t see each other again after they’d separated at the Chantry.

Sylaisa waits but for a long moment he says nothing more, causing her to wonder if that was the end of their conversation, but he quickly steps forward just as she’d started to turn away from him.

“You stayed behind.. You could have-” Cullen starts, trailing off briefly as she turns around to face him again, but there’s a determination in his voice now as he steps forward, his eyes locked on hers. “I will not allow the events at Haven to happen again. You have my word on that, Lavellan.”

_‘I know, Cullen,’_ she wants to say but she can’t break her gaze away from his and the words won’t come out so she just nods and gives Cullen another smile, one that he returns, before they both finally return their attention back to the work at hand.

\-----

 


	8. Companion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 8. Companion
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

“Look at you! Aren’t you a handsome fellow? Yes, you are..”

Cullen’s been around enough Fereldens and their mabari to recognize when someone is cooing at an animal, but the only thing that catches his attention this time is the fact that that was definitely Lavellan’s voice he’d heard.

He glances over towards the direction it had come from as he descends the battlement stairway to see her standing at the stable, and he blinks when he sees that it’s not a dog that she’s cooing at, but instead it’s that Red Hart that had been delivered to them earlier that day. It’s a massive beast, with huge antlers that made it seem even larger than it already was, but right now it’s just pacing in its stall, nudging its head towards Lavellan as she gently scratches along its jawline.

Cullen approaches the stable, moving slowly because _maybe_ he’s a little wary of the large creature but the hart just regards him for a moment before tossing its head back and returning its attention to Lavellan, who looks back towards him with a smile.

“Don’t worry, Cullen. He won’t hurt you so long as you’re not a threat.” she says, stepping aside as if to give him room to stand beside her, and Cullen only hesitates for a beat longer before he walks over, tensing up when the hart starts to sniff and huff at his face but, like Lavellan had said, it otherwise does nothing that might harm him.

“He’ll be quite a companion outside of Skyhold,” Cullen remarks, gingerly reaching a hand up to stroke the side of the hart’s broad neck and the hart straightens up, raising its head up high as if to bask under the attention the pair were giving him, and Cullen chuckles under his breath. Not that Dorian was likely to come down to the stables, but if he ever did then he might find a kindred spirit with this animal.

“That he will,” Sylaisa agrees, scratching the other side of the hart’s neck and smiling at the pleased snort that it lets out. “Not that I don’t admire Master Dennet or his fine horses, but a hart feels a little closer to home.”

“So a hart is a bit like a..” Cullen starts, brow furrowing as he tries to find the word that he was searching for, “Like a halla? Is that what they’re called?”

“They have some similarities, but a halla is much smaller, and they’re much more than mounts to our people,” Lavellan replies and Cullen sees that her smile is lingering now, though whether it’s from nostalgia or just because someone’s asking about her culture he doesn’t know. “They’re a part of our clan too, and their kinship and loyalty has to be earned before they will trust you, let alone let you ride them.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen a halla up close,” Cullen remarks, leaning back a little when the hart leans forward to start sniffing and nibbling at his hair, and it looks indignant for only a moment before a soft scratch behind its ear from Lavellan seems to soothe it. “There was that Dalish clan near Kirkwall but they’d lost all their halla, and I’d only had contact with them myself a few times.”

“We’ve been fortunate enough to never lose our halla,” Lavellan says, a brief flicker of sadness in her eyes as her thoughts wander away from the moment and back to the Dalish. “I wonder how that clan’s doing now.. or how my clan’s doing.”

“The Dalish clan near Kirkwall moved on while I was still stationed there, though I’ve no idea what became of them afterwards.” Cullen says, considering Lavellan’s words for a moment. “We have more than enough messengers if you wanted to contact your clan, maybe even arrange a visit once things settle down.”

“I might do that,” Lavellan replies but she sounds uncertain, and Cullen thinks for a moment that she also looks a little torn. He understands wanting to keep loved ones at a distance, at least until the Inquisition had more powers and allies secured, but something about her hesitation seemed to go beyond that.

She certainly seemed to miss her clan, but aside from the occasional comment she didn’t say much else about them, and Cullen almost wants to ask but he refrains from doing so. If Lavellan had things about her past that she wanted to share, then she would tell him at her own pace.

“Well if you need any assistance, you need only ask,” Cullen reminds her gently and for a moment Lavellan just looks up at him, seeming to study his face for something, and then she smiles at him, such a soft but genuine thing, and he’s caught off guard by a sudden and unexpected flutter of heat in his chest.

He’s.. felt that before. Back when she smiled at him in Haven, a few days after they first met, and it had made him feel..

Well, Cullen actually doesn’t know how to describe how it makes him feel but he likes it, and he smiles back at Lavellan, suddenly so aware of his close proximity to the woman beside him as they start petting and doting on the hart once more, and Cullen feels like the hart’s not the only one basking in her presence right now.

\-----

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that I've posted up to day 8!


	9. Move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 9. Move
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

“Gloat all you like, I have this one.”

Sylaisa smiles when she spots Cullen and Dorian, sitting at the chess table in the garden’s gazebo, but despite his words Cullen’s looking down at the board with obvious concentration, as if mentally preparing for several moves that Dorian could make. Dorian, meanwhile, lounges back in his seat, legs crossed as he regards Cullen with a calm expression.

“Are you _sassing_ me, Commander?” Dorian asks as Sylaisa approaches them. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Why do I even..” Cullen grumbles, reaching for one of his pieces before he notices her approaching, and he moves to stand up but Sylaisa quickly waves a hand, gesturing for him to stay seated as Dorian glances between the pair of them, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“Leaving, are you? Does this mean I win?” Dorian asks, and Cullen just narrows his eyes at the other man, a challenging gleam returning to them, and Sylaisa smiles as she looks from Cullen to Dorian.

“Are you two playing nice?” she asks the pair in an already knowing tone and Dorian smiles back at her with an almost imperceptible wink, causing Sylaisa to shake her head fondly at her friend’s behavior.

“I’m always nice, my dear,” Dorian replies, looking back at Cullen before moving his next piece. “And you, Commander, need to come to terms with my inevitable victory. You’ll feel much better.”

“Really?” Cullen asks, moving another piece with a loud clack before he settles back in his chair, giving Dorian the smuggest expression that Sylaisa has ever seen on the Commander’s face. “Because I just won, and I feel fine!”  
  
Dorian blinks, looking the board over for a moment before he glances back at Cullen, giving him a mock glare as he stands up to leave the gazebo.“Don’t get all smug now; there’ll be no living with you.”

“I should return to my duties as well,” Cullen says before he looks over at Sylaisa and then gestures to the chess board. “Unless you would care for a game?”

Sylaisa takes a moment to consider it; she’d only played this game a few times with Vivienne and Krem before, and she was pretty sure that Krem had cheated, but the thought of spending some down time with the Commander was definitely appealing, especially after the week she’d had in Crestwood..

“Prepare the board, Commander,” she replies, taking the now-vacant seat as Cullen returns the pieces to their starting positions. “So is this a favored game of yours?”

“It is. As a child, I played this game with my sister. She would get this stuck-up grin every time she won – which was _all_ the time,” Cullen says, and Sylaisa smiles at the warm, nostalgic look on his face. “My brother and I practiced together in secret for weeks. The look on her face the day I finally won..”

Sylaisa makes her first move as Cullen settles back, remarking that he hadn’t seen his siblings in years, and she feels a rush of sympathy for him.

“You have siblings?” she asks, because at least talking about them seemed to cheer him up.

“Two sisters and a brother,” Cullen answers, moving his piece and keeping his eyes on the board as Sylaisa does the same while asking about their current whereabouts. “They moved to South Reach after the Blight. I do not write them as often as I should. Ahh, it’s my turn..”

Sylaisa looks down at the board, considering a few potential moves. She could see one that Vivienne had taught her, a simple move that would soon give her a huge advantage, but she regards Cullen, and the distant look in his eyes as he recalls his family, and grabs a different piece instead. “You should keep up the practice for when you see your sister again.”

“What about you?” Cullen asks, studying the board before making another move, but he quickly turns his gaze back to her. “Any siblings to speak of?”

“Just one younger brother, but he was more than enough for me,” Sylaisa replies, smiling as she thinks of her exasperating sibling. As crazy as Thamen often drove her while they were growing up, there was no denying that she really missed his company now.

“I know that feeling well,” Cullen chuckles, waiting for Sylaisa to make her move before he meets her gaze with another soft smile. “I think this is actually the longest we’ve ever gone without discussing the Inquisition, or any related matters. To be honest, I appreciate the distraction..”

“We should spend more time together,” Sylaisa says, an innocent enough suggestion, but when the words come out of her mouth there’s a weight to them, and Cullen must notice it as well because he looks up at her, holding her gaze for a long moment before he gives her that warm smile of his.

“I would like that,” he says, his expression softening as he looks at her. Sylaisa blinks when he’s the one to finally look away first, hoping that her dark skin would make the red flush of her ears less visible to him. His flushed cheeks, on the other hand, are rather obvious and he looks down at the board again as if to hide it. “We should.. finish our game, right? My turn..”

Sylaisa watches him, feeling that warmth in her own chest that always seemed to rise up in his company, and she enjoys the comfortable silence for a few more moves before Cullen sets down his final piece, and though he looks triumphant it’s not the same cocky smirk that he’d given Dorian.

“And this one’s mine,” he says before giving her a quick nod, “You played well, Lavellan. Better than Dorian, at least.”

“Seems that luck favored you today,” she says, and once again Cullen’s expression softens as he stares at her.

“So it has.” He agrees, and Sylaisa gets the feeling he’s not talking about the game at all.

\-----

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave myself a maximum word count for these drabbles and this one is exactly 1000 words. More challenging that I thought it would be.


	10. Silver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: 10. Silver
> 
> No warnings necessary.

\-----

Sylaisa doesn’t know what she expected from the Commander after receiving the message to come by his quarters, but Cullen doesn’t look up even as she enters the room, standing behind his desk with his hands braced on the top of it, and she only starts to understand his serious mood when she notices what he’s staring at so intently; a lyrium kit.

“As leader of the Inquisition, you..” Cullen starts to say but then he trails off with a sigh before he pushes himself away from the desk and looking at her. “There’s something I must tell you.”

“You’re being especially serious today,” Sylaisa replies, going for sarcasm to try to put the man at ease. The corners of his mouth twitch a little but then that troubled expression is back, and he lets out another sigh as his hands settle on the pommel of his sword. “What’s this about, Commander?”

“It’s about _that_ ,” Cullen replies, brow furrowing as he gestures to the open box on his desk. “As you may know, lyrium grants templars our abilities, but it controls us as well. Those cut off from it suffer – some go mad, others may even die. We’ve secured a reliable source of lyrium for the templars here, but I.. no longer take it.”

Sylaisa looks up at him sharply, frowning at his words. “You’ve stopped?”

“When I joined the Inquisition,” Cullen replies, looking down at his desk again as if to avoid her gaze. “It’s been a few months now.”

“Cullen, if this can kill you-” Sylaisa starts, taking a step forwards him but Cullen just shakes his head, though the gesture does little to soothe her sudden concern for the Commander.

“It hasn’t yet, and after everything that happened in Kirkwall I couldn’t..” Cullen says, looking up to meet her gaze once more. “I will not be bound to the Order, or that life, any longer. Whatever the suffering, I accept it.”

“And if _I_ don’t accept it?” Sylaisa asks, her tone far more challenging than she’d meant for it to be, and Cullen just stares at her for a long moment before that hint of a smile returns to his face.

“I thought you might be concerned.. But while I might risk myself I wouldn’t risk the Inquisition as well,” Cullen tells her, and the way his tone softens makes her believe that he’s honestly trying to reassure her. “I have asked Lady Cassandra to.. watch me. If my ability to lead is compromised because of this, I will be relieved from duty.”

Sylaisa sighs under her breath. She doesn’t like this but she knew little about the world of lyrium and the effects it had on mages and templars, so perhaps Cullen knew what he was doing and understood the risks he was taking. Even so..

“Are you in pain?”

“I can endure it,” Cullen replies, though she wonders just how much pain he was enduring. He was likely downplaying it for the sake of keeping up with his current duties as well, though whether that was for her benefit or his she doesn’t know.

She glances down at the lyrium kit again, still unsure of the purpose that some of the tools served, such as the silver knife and wooden spoon, and for a moment her gaze lingers on the vial of lyrium itself, seeing the blue shimmer visible beneath the leather that was bound around it, and she looks up at Cullen once more.

“I won’t pretend that I like this, Cullen, but.. thank you for telling me,” Sylaisa says after taking a moment to consider the extent of what the Commander was doing, and she sees the furrow in Cullen’s brow lessen just a little at her words. “I may not fully understand lyrium either but I do understand that this can’t be easy, so I respect your decision.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor,” Cullen replies, both his tone and expression softening as he looks at her, and for a moment neither of them say anything before Cullen’s gaze drops back down to the box, and he closes it with another soft sigh. “I won’t pretend it’s been easy either, but for the sake of the Inquisition-”

“Cullen,” Sylaisa interrupts and he blinks, glancing up at her. “You know I don’t doubt your commitment and loyalty to the Inquisition, but I want you to consider your own sake in all of this too, so can you at least tell me that this is as much for you as it is for us?”

“It’s for the both of us, believe me,” Cullen replies promptly but she just gives him a long look and Cullen sighs again, and Sylaisa feels some of her disapproval waning when he gives her another soft smile. “It might not seem like it right now but I know what I’m doing, Lady Lavellan, and this is what I believe will be best in the long run. Still, your concern is.. very welcome.”

“I just don’t want you risking any more than you have to, Cullen,” Sylaisa says, stepping forward more but the large desk between them still keeps her at a notable distance from him.

“I’ll be careful, but the Inquisition’s army must always take priority,” Cullen replies, and it’s not the answer she wants but she can tell now by his firm tone that he seems to be steeling his resolve. “I will endure this, Lavellan, and if anything should happen.. I will defer to Cassandra’s judgment.”

“As you wish then,” Sylaisa says and Cullen gives her a quick nod before they both look at the closed box on the desk, but when Cullen says nothing more Sylaisa finally excuses herself from the office, returning to her own duties and trying to keep her concern for the Commander out of the forefront of her mind.

\-----

 


End file.
